Trust and Betrayal
by KDMOSP
Summary: Minor spoilers for 200: Nobody is perfect, everyone has secrets, but this secret nearly killed her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: In case you have not picked up on it, I am obessessed with 200. There are some, kinda spoilers in here. I took the image description from two of the photos released, as well as some info from the promo. So if you are really avoiding any spoilers, do not read this fic. At least not yet. Enjoy! **

You are there when Emily pulls her out of that disgusting hell hole she had been held in for days; you are there when the medics surround her and gently guide her to the waiting ambulance. You are there when Morgan and Reid come out of Cramer Industries shaking their heads, and you know what it means.

You have gotten lucky, kind of. While you were able to find and locate JJ, Cruz is still missing. And judging by the way your agent looks, he probably isn't in the best of shape. You just hope he is still alive.

"Agent Hotcher" The paramedics voice briefly startles you. "Are you riding with us?"

You need to find out if she knows where Cruz is, so you give a slight nod and climb inside the rig, trying not to startle JJ. You take a seat next to her and briefly think about grabbing her hand. When you do, and she jumps away, your mind goes to the darkest places. And while you try and shake it away, tell yourself "it" didn't happen, you have very little doubt that "it" did.

She won't look at you, she hasn't made eye contact with you or anyone else. Your worry is increasing- something is very wrong.

"JJ." You try, and it is almost as if she doesn't even hear you. You look down to see her entire body shaking, not convulsing, but she is shaking as if she is cold. "Oh JJ," You stand up and remove your thick, FBI issued jacket, covering the young woman with it.

As you watch her, it clicks with you, and you turn to the paramedic. "I need her sent to a hospital that can do a forensic exam." You tell them, not leaving any room for discussion. You know what happened to your agent without even asking her.

And the bastard that did it better hope that someone else finds him before you do.

The paramedic briefly looks down at the agent and nods his head slowly, realizing what you have just told him. He disappears for a second before coming back and rejoining the two of you.

"Agent Jareau, I need to start an IV." He tries as he grabs a tornquist and reaches for her arm. You see it before he does, but it is too late to stop it. He quickly ties the restraining material around JJ- and the next thing he knows, your agent has broken his nose.

"JJ." You reach over to her and help her sit up, seeing her turn even paler, she vomits all over herself and the floor. You pay no mind to the swearing paramedic until he calls your agent, a woman who fought for this man's very freedom a "stupid bitch."

You advise him to shut his mouth and that to expect his supervisors to be getting a call from the FBI within the next hour. He does not say another word as the ambulance pulls to the side of the road. The driver and the paramedic switch places and you glare at them. Why did they not think of this before? The second paramedic is a female, calm, caring, patient.

The rest of the forty five minute ambulance ride is spent in almost complete silence. JJ has not said a word and you watch as her eyes remain fixated on something else You take a deep breath and figure you have to ask, right now might be the best time.

"JJ." You almost smile when you notice her head turn towards you. "Do you know where Cruz is?"

You don't get an answer, instead what you get is every sign that JJ is pulling further away from you, and you begin to wonder; had you really made it in time to save her?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I apologize, in my NyQuil induced haze I thought I had mentioned what SA stands for. It is sexual assault. I am not sure how long this story will be, but thanks for reading. I wanted to add this, I am not an author by trade, this is really the only thing I write. I do make mistakes in my writing, I am human :) But, I am looking for a beta! I write quick and need someone who would be willing to offer a very fast turn around time! Thanks!**

You sit in the waiting room, your head in your hands, thinking. The ambulance had arrived over an hour ago, and you still had no update on your agent. You know the doctors had gotten to her pretty quickly, they had met the gurney at the ambulance bay doors. So what was taking so long?

Will and Henry had arrived not long after; in the early morning hours, Henry was still clad in his superhero themed pajamas, as Will had carried him inside the hospital.

"Thank you, Hotch." Will had spoken as soon as he had walked in. You nod, unable to respond. It is clear that both of your minds are somewhere else, on someone else.

"Did she?" Will begins and you look up to see the man fighting back tears. His wife, his beautiful wife had just been rescued after a horrific abduction, one that had sent everyone into a tail spin.

Will and Henry had been there when JJ had, on her own steam, walked out of that hell hole. When the paramedic had said only one person could ride with them, Will had looked to you. He had Henry in his arms, and while Will wanted to be with JJ, he still had his son. You had promised to ride with her as you ordered the police officer to drive Will and Henry immediately to the hospital.

"She hasn't said much." You inform him. You don't want to tell him what you think may have happened, but Will is law enforcement himself, you know he is aware of the possibility.

You sit in silence for a while, your mind going a thousand different directions. You have so many questions and the one person who can answer them is not in any condition to do so.

What happened in that building? That- well that you are confident you can figure out, you and the team. The other burning question you have is where is Cruz? Morgan had called and told you they had found no trace of him.

And somewhere in the back of your mind, you cannot help but think that Cruz may not be the victim.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Its another hour later before a young woman in a lab coat walks directly towards you and Will. The others have arrived as well, Morgan, Reid, Emily, Blake, Rossi and Garcia are all inside the small room with you, all awaiting news on their friend.

"I just need to speak with her husband." The doctor says calmly, seeing all of you stand up at her presence.

"Whatever you need to tell me, you can say it in front of them." Will clarifies as Garcia takes a sleeping Henry from his arms. You are thankful for Will at that moment, that he is allowing you all the same amount of privilege a family member would receive. You are family after all.

The doctor nods and sits down. "She isn't talking to us, she won't allow any of my staff near her." The doctor tells everyone. "She needs to be examined, we know she is injured, but anytime we get close to her.." She shakes her head and you are livid.

"She's been here for almost two hours! Why are you just know coming to us?" You cannot believe this, what they have done. Of course she is terrified, of course she is scared.

"We want to sedate her.."

Will jumps forward. "Like hell you will. My wife has just gone through God knows what, has probably been drugged and restrained and you want to do it all over again?" You watch as you see a side of Will you have never seen before.

"She isn't competent enough right now.." The doctor tries. "We need to do do a forensic exam." When she says it, the entire room seems to deflate, everyone looks down and away. While it has not yet been confirmed, it is obvious that the doctor suspects it

Will shakes his head. "And I am her decision maker. I am telling you not to restrain her, or sedate her." His face has turned red and you see his hands ball into fists.

"Can we talk to her?" You try, hoping that maybe a familiar face might help JJ a bit. In no way are you going to force her or order her to undergo the exam, and while you need the evidence, you'd much rather have JJ able to make her own decision.

The doctor nodds. "I'll take you back there."

"Emily." You don't need to tell her what to do, in an instant, you, Will and Emily are following the doctor to a large room.

You take a deep breath before you walk in, mentally preparing yourself for what you are about to see. It is worse than what you saw in the ambulance. JJ is scared, terrified, it does not even look as though she has registered that any of you have walked into the room.

"JJ?" You hear Will say softly and watch as he slowly begins to approach her. It's a rare moment, one you really have only seen a handful of times. You see the protective instinct in Will as he comforts his traumatized wife. "JJ, it's over." He whispers to her as you and Emily stay in the corner.

She blinks her eyes and looks at him, almost surprised that he is there. She doesn't say a word, but allows her husband to gently place her head on his shoulders. She doesn't cry or make a sound, and to you, thats more terrifying than anything.

"JJ, you are safe. It is over." Will whispers again before looking up at you. "Hotch is here and Emily is here." He smoothes her hair away from her cheek, and when he pulls his hand away, you notice there is blood, and you want to get sick.

"JJ." Will begins again, and you notice something you have never noticed before. JJ relaxes at his voice, her entire body seems to relax. "The doctors and nurses need to look you over, okay?" She shakes her head, but does not offer a word. "They aren't going to hurt you, they just want to make sure you are okay." He kisses her on the head.

"I want to go home." She tells him, and you look away. JJ is in no shape to go home, not right now. "Take me home." She pleads and Will simply shakes his head.

"Not yet." He refuses. "Not yet." And she breaks down in his arms, crying. And you cannot help but turn your head away, it breaks your heart watching her cry; and you still have to have her relive the hell she just escaped. You have to find Cruz.


	3. Fear

**A/N: OMG! Have ya'll seen the extended promo for 200? Go see it. Like now! Also, thank you to my beta for this story CrimStudent47! **

**Enjoy. **

You are not just how it has come to this, you and Will and Morgan holding down a hysterical JJ as she fights to get out of the hospital bed. The trauma room is the epitome of chaos right now- and with all the noise you realize it is only making it harder on JJ.

When it is clear that JJ is beyond suffering you look to Will and plead with him. "Will, you have to consent." You tell him. "They have to give her something." She is in so much pain, physical and mental and she still has not let anyone examine her, and as you look behind you, you see more staff piling in. "Will; they are going to have to restrain her, please, let them give her something." You don't want to beg him, but realize you are walking a narrow line. You know what JJ is capable of, she can be dangerous, a trained federal agent and the last thing you want is for her to hurt herself or anyone else.

You look down at JJ again and when you look into her eyes you realize this is not JJ. JJ is gone right now and instead of JJ you have the shell of a woman who still thinks she is in hell. Her eyes dart back and forth, seeing an enemy in everyone around her, her breathing is out of control, and despite everyone trying to reassure her of her safety, she isn't hearing it.

"Go ahead." Will looks at the doctor, giving her permission to sedate your agent. You hate doing it, despise it, especially when considering you think she was drugged during her ordeal. But right now it is the lesser of the two evils.

"No!" JJ screams and fights even harder, thrashing around on the gurney with unbelievable strength when she sees the doctor coming at her with the needle.

"Will, no!" She pleads, looking at her husband, begging him to help her.

"JJ, we have to." He whispers to her as Morgan takes hold of JJ's left wrist, just where Will was holding her. Will moves up to JJ's head, so she can see him. "We have to." You can tell that the decision is killing him, but there really is no other choice.

"Agent Jareau." The nurse is sweet, trying to do what she can to distract JJ, if even for a moment. But, if it all possible, her fighting becomes even more violent and gets to the point where one of the male nurses goes behind JJ and holds her down by the shoulders. "Agent, I promise we are not here to hurt you." The nurse says as she gently cleans a spot on JJ's arm with alcohol.

JJ knows what is coming and for the first time she makes eye contact with you. "Hotch, please, please, help me." She begs and you are frozen as the nurse slips the needle under her skin.

It takes a few minutes, but you watch as the sedative takes effect. No longer do you and the others need to hold her down, right now it looks as though she can hardly move herself. She isn't terrified, isn't crying, she isn't much.

And the relief you feel when JJ finally shuts her eyes is immeasurable. You hear everyone in the room let out a breath and know they are just as relieved as you are.

"Sir?" You look up to see the doctor addressing Will. "We are going to examine her now. Would you like to stay?"

Will looks to you and you already know what he is thinking. He doesn't want to leave JJ, not right now, but he feels as though he has failed her and that by letting the staff touch her, he will be failing her again. So you give him away at and grab your phone, pretending to get a text.

"Will. Henry needs you," You don't offer an explanation. "I will stay with her."

You sit next to your sleeping agent, watching as the staff does their job. JJ is out cold, not moving as the staff gently cuts away the remaining clothes she has on and bags it in an evidence bag for you. She is immediately covered with a hospital gown and you turn your head in respect as the nurse closes the gown around her body.

You cannot help but notice a few things, and you wish Prentiss or Blake or Garcia was in here. But you promised Will you would stay.

The team seems to work well together, one nurse is starting an IV, while another is drawing blood, the doctor is examining every bit of JJ and you don't listen to what she is saying. It's when they tell you they are about to do the rape exam that you feel your heart jump into your throat.

You don't look, but you stay with her, you hold her hand and promise her that Will and Henry are right outside. You tell her about Jack and how he loves soccer and wants his Aunt JJ to come to a game, how it is starting to snow outside. You talk to her about everything, except the one thing that brought you here.

Of course, you can still hear the staff whispering, and when you hear the confirmation that seman has been found you are not sure what to do. So you text Prentiss and tell her to come get the evidence immediately, you want it expedited to the lab at Quantico.

Come hell or high water, nobody hurts your agent and expects to get away with it. When you listen to JJ take a deep breath you realize your job is far from over.


	4. Choice

**A/N: I despise this chapter, but have been working on it for almost eight hours! So, I relent, this is as good as it is going to get. Let me know what you think:**

You are proud. You are more than proud of the person in front of you. And to call her your agent is something you will always feel honored about. The doctors have sat with you and Will and at length, told you all of her injuries.

It is amazing that she is alive.

Numerous broken bones are found, including a minor skull fracture, broken ribs, broken cheekbone, her left forearm is broken clean through, and her right femur is added to the list.

Burns have been found all over her body, some from cigarettes, others that appear to be from a taser. Others are from an unidentified source.

The doctors described the cuts that littered her body, and when they tell you how they found traces of bleach in each of the slashes, you anger explodes. They tortured your agent with bleach, they cut her and burned her, they broke her, and they did the one thing you hoped they might have spared.

And yet, she persevered, she survived, she fought and fought. And despite all the odds, JJ won.

Now, it is up to you and your team to make sure her fight was not in vain.

And it will be hard.

Because you have just received the results of the rape kit. And you are devastated, angry, furious, shocked.

Three different DNA's have come back, and even without talking to JJ, you are beginning to put a picture together. She was gang raped, but one thing stands out against the others.

The lab was able to get a precise hit on one sample, and the results are infuriating to you.

You squeeze your fists into balls as you read over the file, and you begin to wonder how JJ will ever trust anyone again.

In one hand your hold your badge, you are sworn to do what is right. In the other hand you hold JJ's.

You want to kill the bastard, the exact name on your file, but you know it goes against everything your badge represents. But JJ is worth more than just a badge and you can make sure this person disappears.

You have made your decision when you hear JJ take in a deep breath and cry out in pain.

In an instant, all the anger is gone and your voice is full of compassion as you lean over JJ. "JJ?" You whisper, turning off the light over her bed as she pries open her eyes.

"Hotch?" You heart swells when you hear her voice. It is weak, and flat. But it is JJ.

"Welcome back." You tell her grinning from ear to ear.

"It's over?" She asks, already closing her eyes again. The morphine and sedative still coursing in her system.

"It's over JJ." You promise as she once again, gives into sleep.

You wait until she is out before you allow rage to fill you again. This person, this man better hope that you never find him because you will destroy him.

****Matt Cruz better find a damn good place to hide.


	5. Please

**A/N: OMG! Did ya'll see the Criminal Minds Behind the Scenes promo thing yet? Go looook!**

You come in for your next shift, and you find yourself looking forward to it. You enjoy sitting with JJ, enjoy the peace and quiet, you enjoy getting to speak to her. You don't converse with her, that would involve a two way conversation and right now, JJ isn't willing to speak very much.

You don't push her for information, you already know what you need to know. Of course, for the official report, you will need more, but right now that information is held within the mind of your agent. And that agent has given no signs that she wants to discuss any part of it.

And you respect that. You have to. If you expect to gain an ounce of trust back, you have to respect her.

So, you sit with her every day and you do what you do with your son every night. You read to her.

"Alright JJ, are you ready for chapter two?" You ask as you whip out Harry Potter. You are not even sure if JJ would like this genre, but you opted to go with something that had a little less violence than the normal. You know the series, having screened it before reading it to Jack. And while the rest of the books progressively get darker, you decide that the first Harry Potter is just fine.

You read to her, all the way to chapter five, when you notice she is looking at you. "Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yes." She whispers, her voice is hoarse and you nor the doctors know why; although you all seem to agree it has to do with her abduction. You dare not ask JJ, not yet.

You smile and nod and keep going, even as the nurse brings in JJ's dinner tray. It's half way through the fifth chapter, when you notice JJ has not touched her food. Again.

Morgan had reported that she hadn't touched her breakfast, Prentiss reported the same for lunch. And you wonder when the last time she ate was.

"JJ, are you hungry?" You close the book and lift the lid for the tray, seeing what looks to be a somewhat decent meal.

She shakes her head and you hate to ask her. "When was the last time you ate?"

"I'm not hungry." She repeats.

"JJ, you know if you want to go home, you have to show them you are going to eat."

"No." Her voice is flat, with no effect in it.

You think back to what the doctors had told you about JJ's condition and a light bulb goes off. "JJ, did they drug your food?

When she takes in a deep breath, when she clenches her fist so hard she draws blood and the heart monitor begins to sound, you know you have found the answer.

"Okay. Okay, JJ." You whisper, recovering the phone.

"Hotch," She turns to you and you immediately notice how pale she is. "I am going to be sick." You don't get the chance to jump out of the way before her promise comes true. And all you can do is rub her back as she continues to vomit. What, you don't know. There is nothing in her stomach. When she gets done, the nurses have swarmed and are gingerly helping her clean up; quickly changing her gown and the sheets.

When she is settled back in her bed, you see pure exhaustion on her face and you scoot closer to her. "JJ, get some sleep."

She shakes her head. "I can't." Her voice shakes.

"Nightmares?" You ask, tucking the blanket around her.

She nods. "How about we keep reading?" Another nod, and you pick up the book to begin again when she whispers something that scares you.

"Hotch, he got away, didn't he?"

You look up into her eyes, and you are not sure how to answer that. "Who JJ?" You find yourself asking.

She chews her lip. "Cruz."

You can only be honest with her and nod your head. "For now." You see fear beginning to rise again and decide to quickly act. "But you know your family, and you know that we will find him. Garcia will shut down every bank account, every piece of paper linked to his name." You see a ghost of a smile form. "Rossi will pay for a reward to find him, Blake and Prentiss will make sure that he meets concrete. Morgan, well Cruz better hope Morgan isn't the first one there. And Reid will tell him the thousands of different ways that we can make him disappear." You smile when you notice she has already fallen asleep. "And I will make sure that if he is to survive all of them, he will despise the day he ever laid a hand on you."


	6. Why

**A/N: IT'S TOMORROW! SOOO excited! CBS just released a sneak peek!**

"Hotch?" A tiny voice immediately startles you from your seat and you jump up, ready to protect your charge with any means necessary. But as you quickly remember your surroundings, you look immediately to the source of the voice, JJ.

"What's wrong?" You ask, concern overwhelming you, as you see tears stream down her face.

"I trusted him." You realize what is about to happen, and you sit down next to her, ready to listen to every word. "I trusted him." Her voice is small, and you can tell she is distancing herself from the conversation. You don't stop her, it was most likely what kept her alive, the ability to disassociate herself from her harsh reality.

You are by no means an expert on the idea of dissociation but you have talked to your fair share of victims, survivors and mental health professionals who have described it to you. The way you will always remember it as was told to you by a young woman who had been rescued by your team. She had simply described it as "phasing out." She let you know how she was somehow able to make the pain disappear, that she felt as if she went somewhere else, somewhere safe in her mind; she described at one point as it being an out of body experience.

And you know that is what JJ did during her abduction, and in some aspects, is still doing it now. Her voice has lost its emotion again, but you allow her to talk.

"He just came up behind me, Hotch. I was standing there." You notice that she has started to shake, violently shake. It isn't a seizure, that you know, but you expect it is a release of fear or stress. Whatever the reason, you will make sure to mention it to her doctors.

"Where, JJ?"

"The fountain. Emily and I use to meet at this fountain." You nod, knowing exactly the location she is referring to, and encourage her to go on. "I was calling Cruz and then.." she stops for a moment. "Then he came up behind me Hotch, and I couldn't do anything."

"Of course not, JJ."

"I tried, I did everything I could." You watch as she shakes her head. "But."

"JJ, you were outnumbered, restrained, injured." You know you don't need to remind her but you have to let her know that none of this was her fault.

She looks up at you, pleading with you with her eyes to take her pain away and you wish you could. You wish you could do something, do anything.

"I am a trained federal agent."

"You were drugged, and tortured, Agent Jareau." You remind her.

"It's no excuse."

"You don't need an excuse, JJ. You were kidnapped, and held against your will by a man you trusted, one we all did."

She looks down and away. And you see a question on her lips and you lower your voice. "Talk to me."

She shakes her head and you feel she is pulling away from you. "JJ. We know what happened in that room, we know most of what happened to you, and the last thing I want you to feel is ashamed or embarrassed by something you had no control over. If anyone needs to be ashamed, it the asshole who did this to you." You pause and make sure JJ is looking at you before you finish. "And I promise you, we will find him, you will get your justice."

She closes her eyes and when she opens them she asks you one question you cannot answer. "Why, Hotch? Why did he do this?"

And you are left without any answers for her


	7. Be okay

**A/N: I did it! I got it in half an hour before 200! It's very short but I wrote what needed to be said: Thank you for all of your reviews and support:**

You are sitting in her room again, catching up on some case notes when your phone rings. You grab it quickly, not wanting to disturb a sleeping JJ. It's rare when she sleeps, actually, peacefully sleep. And this time, no sedatives are on board to help her. It is a natural sleep, and by God, you are going to make sure she gets it.

"Hotchner." You answer the phone, without looking at the caller ID, somehow you already know who it is.

"We got him." The voice answers, and all you can do is smile. You cannot wait to tell JJ.

And you get that chance almost six and a half hours later. She has slept soundly for almost twelve hours and you wouldn't wake her.

"Hi Hotch." You see her awake and have to admit, it is the best you have seen her look in a long time. "What's wrong?"

You smile at her, this is the JJ you know, the profiler you know. She is slowly coming back to you. "JJ, we got him."

And the smile that you see returned is worth every hour you have spent in this room, every tear you caught while she cried in the ICU, every word you hung onto as she suffered flashback after flashback.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome, JJ." And you know that while things will never go back to normal, your agent will be okay.


End file.
